Since the state Senate's most effeminate straight legislator is going before the Indiana Election Commission to answer questions about his residency, I thought I'd throw out ten questions I'd also like to ask the not-gay Senator. I hope he responds soon!

1. If I wanted to inherit a small fortune from an older gay man, should I sleep with him?
2. While attending an all male college, did you ever assume a position that might have aroused parts of the student body?
3. After your grandstanding speech in the state Senate against marriage equality, were the other legislators stunned by your oratory prowess? I hear when you open your mouth grown men quiver and shake in awe of your skills.
4. As an up-and-coming politician, your career reminds me of Shakespeare's political plays. I especially like Hamlet when Queen Gertrude tells him, "The lady protests too much, methinks." Is Hamlet your favorite too?
5. While you told the Indy Star that you only use your condo for the bedroom, I'd like to know if you entertain guests often?
6. Have you ever considered if growing a beard would further your career with other lawmakers?
7. When decorating my new home, should I follow your lead and go minimalist? I'm positive your interior decorating skills must match your fashion tastes. After all, an eye for beautiful colors and fabrics surely translates well.
8. Your primary opponent insists you live with your parents. Do you still have to ask them for permission to have slumber parties with other young Republicans?
9. My mom is a busybody. Since you also have a close relationship with your mother, do you have a hard time trying to have an intimate relationship or do you find yourself hiding certain things from her to keep her off your back?
10. Have you convinced your parents that 'bear-hunting' refers to an interest in the wilderness, despite the fact you prefer to carry a handgun to the Statehouse in case a pissed off gay man happens to stop by?